Chapter 2 - Mike Meeker The Geeker Seeker

After the condom in my book incident of 1984, I decided that I most definitely was not and never would be a girl who liked Mike Meeker. I came home that evening, outraged that the public school system would allow something that humiliating to happen to a young impressionable girl like myself. My parents, as usual, gave no comfort but got a big kick out of the story and told me to "suck it up" (famous words of my parents which will be said at all times when I experience mortification, exhaustion, bad grades, heartbreak etc.) My mom asked again who was the boy that laughed so hard? "It was that creepy Mike Meeker... he's such a nerd (or geek, or spaz, or dweeb...I don't remember what I said but I'm sure it was something eloquent like that). All I remember her saying is..."Mike Meeker, he's really smart right?" Yes, I thought, he is smart Mom, but that is beside the point, he is the boy who laughed at my humiliation and fell out of his chair, how about a little female solidarity? "You know Amy," my mom continued oblivious to my desire for her to rag on Mike Meeker, "those boys you think are nerds, they're the ones who grow up and make the best husbands. They have good jobs and they are usually really nice." My reply was "Eeeeeewwwwww MMMOOOMMM. That is sooooooooo gross, like gag me with a pitchfork fer sure. There's no way anybody I know ever will date Mike Meeker. That's like so lame." And with that I probably flitted my way off to my room to call Gretchen and tell her the story for like the 10th time, wait for her to stop laughing and then to give me total chick support. That's the great thing about girlfriends. They'll always trash some guy that makes fun of you in Science class.

A few mornings later, I was walking to school with Jenny and Stephanie. We thought we were pretty cool. Well, they were cool. They were tough girls who in my opinion "ruled the school" with their coolness, ability to curse, experience with boys and knowledge of things a sheltered only child just didn't know yet. I was just happy to be included walking to school with them. I think I sort of strutted on these walks as if I could soak up their coolness by being in their feathered hair, tight jeans with zippers on the ankles, Flashdance off the shoulder sweatshirt wearing presence. Up ahead of us there was a small boy also walking to school. He was loaded down with books, in dark denim (NOT cool) pants that were ironed and too short for him so his white tube socks showed out from beneath. He had a gigantic yellow Goody comb with a big handle stuck in his back pocket. I think I said "hey, get a load of Highwater...", a little too loudly and they boy turned around. It was that pesky Mike Meeker. He didn't say anything rude or laugh... but in MY mind I knew that in HIS mind, he was thinking about how he had the crowning achievement in my mortification. I said to my friends something like, "ugh, it's Mike Meeker, I don't like that kid." So Stephanie, in all her quick wit and tough girl manner said really loudly "hey Mike Meeker, you Geeker Seeker". Jenny and I laughed really hard. We thought this was the funniest thing ever. Stephanie, egged on by our laughter, kept yelling loudly "MIKE MEEKER THE GEEKER SEEKER....HEY GEEKER SEEKER!...MEEKER GEEKER." You get the idea, she was taunting him. Just then, the most profound thing happened. As he looked back at us strutting behind him and giving high fives, and his eyes locked on mine for just a moment. In them, I saw the same look that had been in my own eyes during Science class. His eyes pleaded for this to stop, for something to happen that would make this girl shut up and go away. He was scared, embarrassed and mad all at the same time. It was EXACTLY how I felt. Instead of feeling vindicated that he finally got what was coming to him, I remember feeling just awful. I stopped laughing and Jenny and Stephanie carried on for a few more moments and then let it drop. I walked the rest of the way to school hiding my face from my two friends because I didn't want them to see the tears streaming down it. I didn't talk (very rare for me) because I knew my voice would be shaky. I felt such awfulness for making Mike feel badly and made fun of. I knew at that moment when our eyes locked and held that this boy was not the villain and I was not the victim. We were THE SAME. I knew right then that taunting him was horrible and was causing another person the same pain that I had experienced just days before. Maybe on some level, my soul recognized Mike's soul and my 13 year old self knew on some level that this person's soul was precious to me. I don't know why I stopped laughing except that it wasn't funny all of a sudden and it made me feel like crap. It would be the first of many connections Mike and I would share...just none of these future connections would take place for a very long time.

I wouldn't cross paths again with Mike on any real level for almost 5 more years. We were classmates, coexisting in different social circles, in different classes, who knew of each other, but did not say "hi" when we passed in the hall, did not know that we would wed in bliss, only to barely make it through our second year of marriage. We didn't know we would grieve the loss of family members, the loss of pregnancies, the loss of innocence together. We didn't know that our lives would intersect in the most emotionally intimate of ways. I just went on with my life, cluelessly applying more layers of lip gloss, dating, falling in love for the first time, playing sports, going to parties, rarely studying for classes and basically being in my self absorbed little cocoon not knowing this boy passing me in the halls would one day become my everything.