Chapter 3: The Odyssey of Heart of Darkness

Fall, 1988.
I stood outside our brand new principal Mr. Skeen's office in my Limited Express button fly acid wash jeans and my Black angora sweater with a floral scarf tied just right around my shoulders making a perfect triangle down my back. My penny loafers were all shined up and my new Liz Claiborne purse was filled with "Extra" green gum, a purple pen, purple and pink eyeshadow, pink lip gloss, a banana clip, Salon Selectives hairspray and these new maxi pads called "Always". Mr. Woodbury was cussing at the ditto machine as I waited for the principal. I needed a favor.

I was Student Body President, Editor of the Antlerette, the speech team darling and pretty full of my 17 year old self. My new boyfriend had 3rd period AP English. I had 1st period AP English. And this just wouldn't do. I needed to switch. But the semester was already in full swing. In fact, it was the end of October and nobody got to switch classes this late in the game. But I wasn't nobody. At least not to me. Our student body council ruled the school and controlled more than a bunch of kids ever should. And this new principal, Ed Skeen, really wanted to be a (air quotes) "friend to the students". He wanted to prove he was a cool guy. I think he blew his chances when he brought his wife to our first pep rally of the year sporting a porcelain heart button staying "I "heart" Ed". I sort of lost respect for this guy at that point. But he wanted to prove he was on the students side and I was their elected leader and I needed to switch classes so there I stood, blowing bright green minty bubbles, waiting for Ed to get off the phone and call me inside.

Transferring to 3rd period AP English was a piece of cake. Ed really sucked up my story about needing a lighter class 1st period so I could prepare for Student Government 2nd period and serve the school more efficiently. "Mr. Skeen, I just feel that I would have more to give the students if I didn't have to think so hard so early in the morning.", I said with my best speech tournament voice. (I didn't really say this exactly, but it was probably something that stupid so that will suffice for our purposes) Ed bought it hook, line and sinker and off I went feeling very super rad about myself. You'll come to learn in future chapters that Ed was no "friend of the students" but was, in reality, an evil facist that had to be overthrown.

So, on my first day of Mrs. Santora's 3rd PERIOD English class, I walked in to friendly faces and my great senior year boyfriend Kelly, who had kicked out whoever had previously sat in the desk next to him. I remember being in the middle of Kelly on one side and Janina Tollenaar who was on student council with me on the other. Behind her, was some guy I vaguely recognized from school. Oh yeah, it was that Mike Meeker kid. Whatever...as long as Kelly and Janina were sitting by me it should be a pretty fun year.

And it was. Mrs. Santora was a great English teacher. She had us do all sorts of fun projects. When we read the Odyssey she had us write our own Odyssey story about ourselves, using greek mythology and in 100% iambic pentameter or whatever that poem style that Homer used was. It was fun and I thought mine was awesome and would be the best. But then Mike Meeker got up to read his. Not only did his RHYME, (which to 17 yr old girls is the gold standard on which all poetry is judged) but it was a RAP. Being a future English Major and somewhat of a literature nerd, I thought this was the coolest thing ever. I thought that Homer would love it and I know I did. Then, it came time for us to venture into the Congo, while reading Heart of Darkness. Now, please undertand, I love literature. But I can't tell you how much I hated Heart of Darkness. It was awful. It seemed like everyone in the class loved the blood and gutts and all the light/dark/evil/good/cannibal/noncanibal symbollism that this book is known for. It just gave me a headache. And while we were studying it, I could always count on the kid behind Janina, Mike Meeker, to make some sarcastic remark about symbollism under his breath or laugh at totally inappropriate times while we were discussing the book. This was always funny but shocking at the same time because Mike Meeker was the ultimate "school boy". You know that label you gave straight A, boyscout types who never turned in their homework late and actually pumped their fist in celebration when a pop quiz was announced. So first the Odyssey RAP, then the sarcastic cool Heart of Darkness comments. Then, he decided he didn't like sitting in his desk and he moved over to the wall on the side of the classroom, sat in a chair and tipped it back on two legs for a lot of the year. Just because he felt like it. And even though Mrs. Santora required all of our work to be completed in pen, he refused to do it. He liked his pencil. Sure it was a mechanical pencil that he kept in his vinyl Members Only jacket's inside pocket, but I thought it was funny and possibly COOL. So before I knew it, Mike Meeker and I were joking around in class and Janina, Kelly, Mike and I became a foursome of friends who sat together, did projects together and laughed together. I adopted Mike into our little group. He earned his way in with his rapping, joke making, chair tipping, pencil rebellion shenanigans.

Little did I know, this was the beginning of the end for Kelly and me and the start of the rest of my life.