Chapter 7: Camelot

"It was just the shrimp or something". "He wrote a really sweet message in my year book." "I am CRAZY."

All things I told myself over and over in the coming days after the night on the swings and the sharing of my heart. English was awkward. Kelly had NO idea that any of this went down. Senior year was rapidly coming to an end bringing the standard activities of senior picnic, senior sleepover and senior trip to Disneyland. I had planned all along to have a boyfriend for these events. And I did. A great one. Kelly and I attended all of these events together and I gave Mike the cold shoulder at every turn. I even asked him to stop hanging out with us at Disneyland. As soon as Kelly showed up at the senior sleep over I quit hanging out with Mike and spent the night (no not that way) with Kelly. But Mike was always in the background, staring, trying to talk to me, writing me notes and acting like a love sick puppy dog. It really started to get to me. I didn't need some half nerd half flight jock messing up my well laid plans for a great summer. In my stress and confusion, I MADE Kelly watch one of my very favorite movies with me one night. Classic movie, 1968, staring Richard Harrison...Camelot. As we watched Guinevere struggle with her total love for Arthur AND Lancelot simultaneously and how truly tortured she was and sorry for it, I mistakenly mentioned that this movie sort of reminded me about me, him and Mike Meeker. Yeah, it didn't go over well.

He stalked out of the house and I chased after him. We stood in his front yard in silence. "And just who would I be in the story?", he demanded. "Ummmm, Arthur. He's the best. He's King Arthur for crying out loud. Might for right and the Knights of the Round Table." I did my best to point out all of the great points of Arthur who is the single character in literature and movies I love the most to this day. I was starting to think he didn't get it. "But she CHEATED on him with LANCELOT." He obviously did not get it. "Yes, but um...she was tortured because she loved Arthur so much and Mike is ummm...going off to the Air Force Academy sort of like a knight and I love you." (2008 newsflash: I realized the mistake of all this about 2 seconds after these things were out of my mouth) "And she didn't end up with Lance! She almost burned at the stake for pete's sake and she ended up being hidden by nuns with no love forever living with the burden of ending Camelot!!!" I exploded with what a crappy deal old Guinevere ended up with. It still wasn't flying. I ended up driving away, blaring Depeche Mode "I want somebody to love" and sobbing. Here was one of my favorite movies, I was trying to come clean with Kelly and all I got was grief for my efforts. And we didn't even end up finishing the movie.

I called Mike. I asked him to meet me in the football stadium. I would be in the bleachers if he felt like stopping by. (short background info: the football stadium was right behind my house. It was the sight of my many drama moments growing up. It was where I stormed to when my parents "just didn't understand", it was where I ran bleachers after watching Rocky, it was where I went to go and dream and think and be alone. It was my special place.) I skulked to the football stadium, hopped the locked fence and walked alone on the track until I got to the bleachers. I sat down and waited. Either Mike would show up or not. Whatever the case I would take it as a sign.

I waited a LONG time. I could see his car pull up when it did so I would know if he was there. He didn't show. I started to rise to go, half disappointed and half relieved my choice was made. King Arthur it was and I was prepared to go forth with loyalty and commitment. Then, out of the night, I heard some running. I squinted toward the sound trying to see to the other side of the stadium. It was Mike and he was running, running as fast as I've ever seen someone run. And he was headed straight at me. Oh boy...my stomach did flip flops. I guess I had a decision to make after all. (Quick background: Mike was a major track star at school so him running full speed on the track wasn't that weird or anything)

Imagine my surprise when he wasn't even a little bit happy to see me. I figured he would be thrilled I wanted to talk to him again. And we were in MY special place. What was he doing showing off how fast he could run and being all intense and mad? I told him about the whole Camelot thing. I told him that I was confused and scared. This softened him for a moment. Then, all of a sudden he got super mad. "I am LEAVING for the Air Force Academy. Do you get what that means?" Again, a boy was yelling at me for the second time that night. "I have my life planned out. I'm going to be a fighter pilot, I am leaving for school, I am going on a mission. That's six years of plans. I had no plans for you and now I can't seem to want any of it and it just makes me so mad." Secretly my heart soared. But I acted contrite and sympathetic to his plight. In fact, I gave a little rant myself. "Do you think I actually wanted this? I am going to be a journalist. I am going to the best journalism school in the nation. I will then cover whatever story in whatever part of the world I have to. For the New York fricking Times! I have a boyfriend who is great and you as you so accurately pointed out, are leaving." We stood there in silence just locking eyes. I stared at green eyes that normally smiled and crinkled and held joy and interest but now were unreadable and angry. Then, suddenly, those eyes softened. "Well, then I guess we are both screwed because I think I'm falling in love with you." I let out a huge breath that I was unaware I was holding. "yeah, me too." I said softly. "I guess we better walk home." We walked out of the stadium in silence. He tried to help me over the fence but I was a FEMINIST which I pointed out and didn't NEED his help over the fence thank you very much. He just laughed at that. We walked in silence across the parking lot toward our mutual houses. We got to the corner on Valley Oak and Vista Grande Drives where I would go my way and he would go his. "Well", he said. "Thanks for the talk." He just stood there. "Yeah, you too." I said looking at the ground. "Do you know what you're gonna do?" he asked. "Nope." I said miserably, not even being able to meet his eyes. "Okay then. See ya Aim." he said with a half smile. We high fived. Yes I know that is corny. But we always high fived when we parted ways. We still do. As I walked away he called from somewhere in the darkness..."Aim?" I stopped. "Yep?" I said. "I'm glad I at least get to be Lancelot." I smiled with a big grin. "Yeah, see ya Lance." He chuckled and we continued to walk away from each other toward our homes where neither of us would sleep that night.